Waiting for History
by Sarah Chenoweth

Waiting for the anxiety to end—
for cell towers to collapse,
fiber optic cables to shatter;
for social expectations of what
it means to be human to fade into
memory—waiting for history.

Waiting for the outside to mirror
what I feel so deeply inside—
sunny days napping on the sill
with cats and ginger tea,
where the only expectation is to be
human—waiting for the Self to emerge.

Waiting for the anxiety to release
its warm, cocoon-like grasp;
that paralyzing grasp that suffocates
so deeply inside, shattering
sunny days and tea cups alike.
What does it mean to be human anymore—
to wait as our own history emerges,
and then passes by?

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: The most prominent theme I feel in Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s poem “I am Waiting” is the loss of Self and the waiting for that Self to reemerge. Perhaps I see this theme above others because it is one that I struggle with in my own life . . . a spinning wheel of remembering and forgetting.

IMAGE: “The Favourite” by John William Godward (1901).


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sarah Chenoweth is a teacher by trade, a student of life, and a writer of oddities. She has been published in print through Pittsburg State University’s Cow Creek Review and the academic journals Communication Theory and Rhetoric & Public Affairs, and online through the Silver Birch Press. Sarah is a registered yoga teacher and the owner of Balanced Yoga Life, LLC in Pittsburg, Kansas.