Contradictions by Nancy Jean Hill (I Am Waiting Poetry Series)

CONTRADICTIONS
by Nancy Jean Hill

I am waiting for my numbers to go down —
the ones that go up with too much eating and age
and I am waiting for wings or maybe a crown

I am waiting to be seen, for applause to be loud —
and I am waiting to die, to be freed from this cage
I am waiting for my numbers to go down

I am waiting for my eyes to go from blue to brown —
to look more like my mother, keeping my father away
and I am waiting for wings or maybe a crown

I am waiting for the rain, and I am waiting for a drought —
I am waiting for a knight to make me a dame
and I am waiting for my numbers to go down

I am waiting to succeed, to stand out from the crowd —
and I am waiting to fail, more food for my rage
I am waiting for wings or maybe a crown

I want to be silent and at the same time shout —
I want to write boldly on every page
I am waiting for my numbers to go down
I am waiting for wings or maybe a crown

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:  This is a new poem, inspired by this prompt and rereading Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s “I am Waiting.”  Although I write many free verse poems, writing in form often helps me take leaps I might not otherwise have taken, especially when the subject matter is personal.

IMAGE: “A Crown” by Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema (1836-1912).

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Nancy Jean Hill is the author of the chapbook BERYLLIUM DIARY (Pudding House, 2007), a collection of poems that speaks to the tragedy of industrial disease. Her poems have also appeared in several literary journals, including CALYX, A Journal of Art and Literature by Women; Pheobe; Omphalos; Concrete Wolf; Slipstream; and The Café Review. Hill is very active in the Seacoast, New Hampshire, poetry community and has been nominated two times for Portsmouth Poet Laureate. She lives in Stratham, New Hampshire, with the poet Bill Burtis.