In Tandem
by Betsy Mars
The time had come to take the stand:
kicking it up and out of the way,
I wobbled from side to side
wearing my training wheels,
only just maintaining balance.
My father wrenched away my dependency.
Unbolted, I sat upright.
He kept a hand lightly on my back,
steadying, as I learned to ride alone.
Instead of unforgiving concrete, he gave me grass
to soften the blow: a lesson in man versus nature.
Wheels spinning, with effort I made my move.
Elation and premonition of the inevitable
separation as I rode free, relatively stable,
his imagined hand constant.
Along life’s pitted paths, the many bumps and bruises
calloused my spirit and hardened my heart.
Obstinate and frightened, over time I rode alone;
bones brittle from frequent breaks,
I was afraid to risk a fall.
When my father died, I clutched his life —
a comforting cardigan against my loss.
Now, beneath my wheels,
I feel the forgiving foundation.
I take the saddle again, this time in tandem,
I find my feet and go.
AUTHOR’S PHOTO CAPTION: Me around three years old, pre-training wheels.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: My bicycle allowed me an early sense of freedom to roam the neighborhood — in a range that would terrify me as a parent today. My father took me out on the grass in front of our apartment when I must have been six years old and ran along behind me, keeping me upright, until I got a sense of how to maintain my balance on my own. I think that this is a good metaphor for the role he played throughout his life, and even in death — his example of childlike joy and aliveness keeping me emotionally balanced in the wake of his death.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Betsy Mars is a Southern California poet, mother, and animal lover with a severe case of travel fever. Her poems have been published in several anthologies, and she has enjoyed the dialog that has resulted from her online publications since she has a paralyzing fear of giving readings.
[…] Source: In Tandem, poem by Betsy Mars (STARTING TO RIDE Poetry and Prose Series) […]
A beautiful and moving poem, Betsy! I especially loved the ending and how you linked your father’s bike-riding lessons to the security, stability and love he gave you, and the memory of his love you carried after his death.
Thank you. He was childlike to the end, in the best possible way. Also always a steady presence in my life. People are surprised/impressed that I have handled his death so well, but it’s only because I so clearly understand how much he wanted it so–another gift from him.
So beautiful and moving, Betsy! So many memories in so few words. I am so sorry for the loss of your dad! My sincere condolences!
Thank you, Sofia. It’s the best way I can find to keep him with me. I appreciate your kind remarks.
Really wonderful and very moving, just beautiful..xx
Thank you, Mina. Trying to capture the truth is difficult and I don’t want to make a saint of my father, but he was always there for me to the best of his abilities. I want to keep him alive in a selfish way, to help me become my best self.
A very deeply touching poem, and a sweet tribute to your father.
Thank you, Stephen. You were instrumental in helping make it so.