Rock & Roll and Lotus-Sutra
by Sudeep Adhikari

My seventeen was an unruly cocktail of desires, despair and dreams.
Zen stories, Allen Ginsberg, Rock & Roll and Quantum Mechanics;
Bookstores, libraries and dimly lit record stores on the narrow streets,
baiting on many ancient gods. My foot was blind, and the city never

I barely noticed I was also a student of engineering. I missed classes
like I used to miss my shots on occasional games of pool with my cousin.
And nobody knew I was spending more time in a bookstore
near my campus, than in the classes. I waited calmly; I knew some
irreversibles were on their way.

And the other day, my friend told me that I had missed one professor’s
more than a month in a row, and he was ready for a warm kill. I went to
his office,
made some excuses I no longer remember, made a face which was not
and made some promise which I had no intention to keep. The good old
man let
me go with a strong warning, and some near heart-attack experiences for

That day I went home with a slight sense of guilt, and I kept thinking
about my father’s long working hours. “Your son is not lazy, mother. He i
too confused or may be angry.” I silently spoke to myself, when she
handed me a warm cup
of tea. I needed a hug, but I settled for a copy of “Lotus Sutra” I just
while Michael Stipe slowly lamented on my Sony Stereo.

IMAGE: Illustrated manuscript of “Lotus Sutra” (Metropolitan Museum of Art).

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: This poem is a very dear memory. I can still feel that organized chaos of my 17th and it is still able to gives me chills.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sudeep Adhikari, from Kathmandu, Nepal, considers poetry to be an impersonal act, largely deriving its content from unconscious psychic undergrounds. He is a PhD in Structural Engineering and is currently working in Nepal as a Structural-Consultant/Part-Time Lecturer. His poetry has been featured in more than 60 online/print literary magazines around the world. His recent publications were with Red Fez , Kyoto, Your One Phone Call, Jawline Review, Anti-Heroin Chic, Yellow Mama, Fauna Quarterly, Beatnik Cowboys, After The Pause Misty Mountain Review, Poetry Pacific and The Lake. His poetry generally revolves around the theme of seamless continuity between human-psyche and nature, and shows an over-arching affinity for the non-philosophy of unity, multiplicity, indivisibility, and nothingness. The governing aesthetics draws its inspiration from science, mathematics, religion, philosophy, psychology, sound-art, fractals, noise, and everything beyond and beneath.