winter solstice in march
by Scott Ferry

as a nurse i am still waiting for the grace
to treat a patient who i feel will pass soon
without anger

i can almost see god funneling through
his eyes and i want to reach an
invisible arm

and push the creeping light back
like pushing off the hazard button
on a dashboard

give him more time i think
but i look at the frail body the throat
unable to swallow

the late november skin and i realize
this is not my time this is not my
suffering to

bargain with

PAINTING: Spirit in the Sky by Ronnie Landfield (1969).

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: For this piece, I had just finished a video call with a patient who didn’t have much time. I remembered back to every time I’d realized this with a patient and every time I had a resistance to death as if the person was a family member, or even myself. I know this is not healthy; yet, I know no other way to stay human. As a professional, I do not let it cloud my judgment, but the turmoil boils under the surface. This is the hardest part, for me.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Scott Ferry helps our Veterans heal as a RN. He has published two books of poetry: The only thing that makes sense is to grow (Moon Tide, 2020) and Mr. Rogers kills fruit flies, (Main St. Rag, 2020). Find more of his work at ferrypoetry.com.