JUST FOR TODAY
by Anthony Costello
I am waiting
as I was advised to wait
by Arthur Koestler. He advised:
“soak and wait.” Good advice,
but it can lead to complacency
and over-confidence, my literary
future guaranteed (a fait accompli)
If I wait…
…I am waiting twenty years
and losing patience with Koestler.
I have read a lot in those years though,
so, perhaps, in terms of confidence,
the waiting might be over?
(A slight diversion, a philosophical proposition:
There Is No Such Thing As Waiting?
In the same way our fingernails
are always slowly growing
at the same rate the plates
beneath the ground, beneath our feet
moves consistently, imperceptibly, reliably,
then waiting is always moving,
always doing, like Bishop in ‘The Waiting Room”
or Ferlinghetti in “I am Waiting,”
or that lady on the bus
you always fantasized
led a moribund existence
when in reality she was
on the bus going somewhere,
meeting a lover, or engaged
In her just for today and nobody
else needs to know daily act of human kindness.)
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I have been feeling blocked and remembering long periods of being blocked (the biggest block 27 years before I began to write, but 27 years since I fantasized about being a writer) and recalling how Michael Longley did not write anything for a decade during his forties (he thought he was “finished as a writer”) but now and for a long time is in a purple patch of creativity. The I Am Waiting Poetry Series, based on Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s poem “I Am Waiting,” helped me to break through a period where I have felt creatively blocked. I liked Ferlinghetti’s invocation of Wordsworth and how the list of things that Ferlinghetti awaits is, in some way, a commentary on the dynamics of creativity.
IMAGE: “Car Chair” by Edward Hopper (1965).
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Anthony Costello’s poems have appeared most recently in Ink, Sweat and Tears, The Shop, Orbis, English Chicago Review, and Acumen. The poems of Alain-Fournier, a collaboration with Anita Marsh and Anthony Howell, will be published by Anvil in 2015. The Mask, his first collection of poems, was published in Fall 2014 by Lapwing Publications, Belfast.