Up from the Egg, poem by Ogden Nash

UP FROM THE EGG
By Ogden Nash

Bird watchers top my honors list.
I aimed to be one, but I missed.

Since I’m both myopic and astigmatic,

My aim turned out to be erratic,

And I, bespectacled and binocular,

Exposed myself to comment jocular.

We don’t need too much birdlore, do we,

To tell a flamingo from a towhee;

Yet I cannot, and never will,

Unless the silly birds stand still. 

And there’s no enlightenment in a tour

Of ornithological literature.

Is yon strange creature a common chickadee,

Or a migrant alouette from Picardy?

You can rush to consult your Nature guide

And inspect the gallery inside,

But a bird in the open never looks

Like its picture in the birdie books –
Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage,

And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.

That is why I sit here growing old by inches,

Watching a clock instead of finches,

But I sometimes visualize in my gin

The Audubon that I audubin.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Frederic Ogden Nash (1902-1971) was an American poet known for his light verse.  The New York Times said his “droll verse with its unconventional rhymes made him the country’s best-known producer of humorous poetry.” Ogden Nash wrote over 500 pieces of comic verse. The best of his work was published in 14 volumes between 1931 and 1972. (Read more about Ogden Nash at Wikipedia.org.)

Photo: “Panama Bird Through Binoculars” by Landlockedlis, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Three Stings, poem by Shel Silverstein

THREE STINGS
by Shel Silverstein

George got stung by a bee and said,
“I wouldn’t have got stung if I’d stayed in bed.”
Fred got stung and we heard him roar,
“What am I being punished for?”
Lew got stung and we heard him say,
“I learned somethin’ about bees today.”

Photo: John Covey, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Find “Three Stings” in Falling Up, a 176-page collection of poetry and illustrations by Shel Silverstein, available at Amazon.com.

Irony at the Allergists, poem by Ellaraine Lockie

IRONY AT THE ALLERGIST’S
by Ellaraine Lockie

Plastic replaces bona fide flowers and pollen
on the table by a stack of magazines
You think you can smell neroli
from the bittersweet blossoms
on the cover of The Green Gardener
Or maybe it’s the gray cat curled
around the tree trunk that’s causing
your nose to raise its voice
 
First the whine of sniffles sends you
to the box of Kleenex on the corner table
Then the blast in a trombone’s decibel range
that causes a woman to drop her pill
Followed by a continued ensemble of sneezes
as Georgia O’Keeffe’s purple petunias
on the wall waft optic allergens
And oak branches outside brush their own
allergy onslaught against the skylight
 
You know by feel that the flowers
beside the Kleenex are silk
Yet your eyes want to water them
Someone offers a Benedryl
but you can’t accept the absurdity
You feel even more foolish to find
from the allergist that dust and molds
are your real antagonists
 
With 179 needle scratches that leave
back and arms with enough red welts
to evoke a battered woman
You return Better Homes and Gardens
to the waiting room table
Brush against a plastic sunflower branch
And gray powders storm the air
that the biggest welt on your arm
welcomes like long-lost relatives

Illustration: “Purple Petunias” by Georgia O’Keeffe (1925)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ellaraine Lockie is a widely published and awarded poet, nonfiction book author, and essayist. Her ninth and recent chapbook, Wild as in Familiar, was a finalist in the Finishing Line Press Chapbook contest and received The Aurorean’s Chapbook Pick for Spring 2012.  Ellaraine teaches poetry workshops and serves as poetry editor for the lifestyles magazine, Lilipoh, and as associate editor for Mobius. Silver Birch Press published her poetry chapbook Coffee House Confessions  on February 3, 2013. Find the book at Amazon.com.

“Irony at the Allergist’s” and other poetry by Ellaraine Lockie appears in the Silver Birch Press Green Anthology — a collection of poetry and prose from over 60 authors around the world — available at Amazon.com.

UP FROM THE EGG, poem by Ogden Nash

UP FROM THE EGG
By Ogden Nash

Bird watchers top my honors list.
I aimed to be one, but I missed.

Since I’m both myopic and astigmatic,

My aim turned out to be erratic,

And I, bespectacled and binocular,

Exposed myself to comment jocular.

We don’t need too much birdlore, do we,

To tell a flamingo from a towhee;

Yet I cannot, and never will,

Unless the silly birds stand still. 

And there’s no enlightenment in a tour

Of ornithological literature.

Is yon strange creature a common chickadee,

Or a migrant alouette from Picardy?

You can rush to consult your Nature guide

And inspect the gallery inside,

But a bird in the open never looks

Like its picture in the birdie books –
Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage,

And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.

That is why I sit here growing old by inches,

Watching a clock instead of finches,

But I sometimes visualize in my gin

The Audubon that I audubin.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Frederic Ogden Nash (1902-1971) was an American poet known for his light verse.  The New York Times said his “droll verse with its unconventional rhymes made him the country’s best-known producer of humorous poetry.” Ogden Nash wrote over 500 pieces of comic verse. The best of his work was published in 14 volumes between 1931 and 1972. (Read more about Ogden Nash at Wikipedia.org.)

Photo: “Panama Bird Through Binoculars” by Landlockedlis, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Three Stings, Poem by Shel Silverstein

THREE STINGS

by Shel Silverstein

George got stung by a bee and said,

“I wouldn’t have got stung if I’d stayed in bed.”

Fred got stung and we heard him roar,

“What am I being punished for?”

Lew got stung and we heard him say,

“I learned somethin’ about bees today.”

***

This little Shel Silverstein rhyme speaks volumes about human nature —  how different people can interpret the same experience in different ways, and how we can choose which “answer” to believe. I like to think of Lew as the quintessential writer — always learning, no latter what happens, and expressing himself in stories, song, and poetry.

Photo: John Covey, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Find “Three Stings” in Falling Up, a 176-page collection of poetry and illustrations by Shel Silverstein, available at Amazon.com, where the book has garnered 100 five-star reviews.

Irony at the Allergist’s, Poem by Ellaraine Lockie

IRONY AT THE ALLERGIST’S

by Ellaraine Lockie

Plastic replaces bona fide flowers and pollen
on the table by a stack of magazines
You think you can smell neroli
from the bittersweet blossoms
on the cover of The Green Gardener
Or maybe it’s the gray cat curled
around the tree trunk that’s causing
your nose to raise its voice
 
First the whine of sniffles sends you
to the box of Kleenex on the corner table
Then the blast in a trombone’s decibel range
that causes a woman to drop her pill
Followed by a continued ensemble of sneezes
as Georgia O’Keeffe’s purple petunias
on the wall waft optic allergens
And oak branches outside brush their own
allergy onslaught against the skylight
 
You know by feel that the flowers
beside the Kleenex are silk
Yet your eyes want to water them
Someone offers a Benedryl
but you can’t accept the absurdity
You feel even more foolish to find
from the allergist that dust and molds
are your real antagonists
 
With 179 needle scratches that leave
back and arms with enough red welts
to evoke a battered woman
You return Better Homes and Gardens
to the waiting room table
Brush against a plastic sunflower branch
And gray powders storm the air
that the biggest welt on your arm
welcomes like long-lost relatives

Illustration: “Purple Petunias” by Georgia O’Keeffe (1925)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ellaraine Lockie is a widely published and awarded poet, nonfiction book author, and essayist. Her ninth and recent chapbook, Wild as in Familiar, was a finalist in the Finishing Line Press Chapbook contest and received The Aurorean’s Chapbook Pick for Spring 2012.  Ellaraine teaches poetry workshops and serves as poetry editor for the lifestyles magazine, Lilipoh, and as associate editor for Mobius. Silver Birch Press published her poetry chapbook Coffee House Confessions  on February 3, 2013. Find the book at Amazon.com.

“Irony at the Allergist’s” and other poetry by Ellaraine Lockie will appear in the Silver Birch Press Green Anthology — a collection of poetry and prose from authors around the world — available March 15, 2013. The Green Anthology includes a wide range of creative explorations inspired by the color green — including poems and stories about nature, love, envy, food, the environment, relationships, the family, seasons, water, eden, and new life.