EGGS RATED
by Shel Silverstein
These eggs
Are eggscellent.
I’m not eggsaggerating.
You can tell by my eggspression
They’re eggceptional —
Eggstra fluffy,
Eggstremely tasty,
Cooked eggsactly right
By an eggspert
With lots of eggsperience.
Now I’ll eggsamine the bill….
Ooh — much more eggspensive
Than I eggspected.
I gotta get out of here.
Where’s the eggxit?
SOURCE: “Eggs Rated” appears in Shel Silverstein’s collection Falling Up (HarperCollins, 1996), available at Amazon.com.
WEIRD-BIRD
by Shel Silverstein
Birds are flyin’ south for winter.
Here’s the Weird-Bird headin’ north,
Wings a-flappin’, beak a-chatterin’,
Cold head bobbin’ back ‘n’ forth.
He says, “It’s not that I like ice
Or freezin’ winds and snowy ground.
It’s just sometimes it’s kind of nice
To be the only bird in town.”
***
“Weird-Bird” appears in Shel Silverstein‘s collection Falling Up.
THREE STINGS
by Shel Silverstein
George got stung by a bee and said,
“I wouldn’t have got stung if I’d stayed in bed.”
Fred got stung and we heard him roar,
“What am I being punished for?”
Lew got stung and we heard him say,
“I learned somethin’ about bees today.”
Photo: John Covey, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Find “Three Stings” in Falling Up, a 176-page collection of poetry and illustrations by Shel Silverstein, available at Amazon.com.
HAPPY NEW
by Shel Silverstein (1930-1999)
Joe yelled, “Happy New Year.”
The cow yelled, “Happy Moo Year.”
The ghost yelled, “Happy Boo Year.”
The doctor yelled, “Happy Flu Year.”
The penguin sneezed, “Happy Ah-choo Year.”
The skunk yelled, “Happy Pee-yoo Year.”
The owl hooted, “Happy Too-woo Year.”
The cowboy yelled, “Happy Yahoo Year.”
The trainman yelled, “Happy Choo-choo year.”
The clock man yelled, “Happy Cuckoo Year.”
The barefoot man yelled, “Happy Shoe Year.”
The hungry man said, “Happy Chew Year.”
There were more “Happy Ooo-Years”
Than you ever heard
At our New Year’s party…
Last June twenty-third.
***
“Happy New” appears in Shel Silverstein‘s posthumous collection Everything on It (HarperCollins, 2011), available at Amazon.com.
CHRISTMAS DOG
by Shel Silverstein
Tonight’s my first night as a watchdog,
And here it is Christmas Eve.
The children are sleepin’ all cozy upstairs,
While I’m guardin’ the stockin’s and tree.
What’s that now–footsteps on the rooftop?
Could it be a cat or a mouse?
Who’s this down the chimney?
A thief with a beard–
And a big sack for robbin’ the house?
I’m barkin’ I’m growlin’ I’m bittin’ his butt.
He howls and jumps back in his sleigh.
I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air.
I’ve frightened the whole bunch away.
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again,
The stockin’s are safe as can be.
Won’t the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow
And see how I’ve guarded the tree.
###
“Christmas Dog” appears in Shel Silverstein‘s collection Falling Up.
WRITER WAITING
by Shel Silverstein
Oh this shiny new computer–
There just isn’t nothin’ cuter.
It knows everything the world ever knew.
And with this great computer
I don’t need no writin’ tutor,
‘Cause there ain’t a single thing that it can’t do.
It can sort and it can spell,
It can punctuate as well.
It can find and file and underline and type.
It can edit and select,
It can copy and correct,
So I’ll have a whole book written by tonight
(Just as soon as it can think of what to write).
###
“Writer Waiting” appears in Falling Up, poems and drawings by Shel Silverstein (HarperCollins, 1996), available at Amazon.com. (And I recommend that everyone have a personal copy of this delightful book.)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Chicago native Shel Silverstein (1930-1999) was a poet, songwriter, singer, cartoonist, screenwriter, and author. Other notable books include The Giving Tree (1964), Where the Sidewalk Ends (1974), and the song “A Boy Named Sue,” made famous by Johnny Cash.
I MADE MYSELF A SNOWBALL
by Shel Silverstein
I made myself a snowball,
as perfect as could be.
I thought I’d keep it as a pet,
and let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first it wet the bed!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Chicago native Shel Silverstein (1930-1999) was a poet, songwriter, singer, cartoonist, screenwriter, and author. Other notable books include Falling Up (1996), The Giving Tree (1964), Where the Sidewalk Ends (1974), and the song “A Boy Named Sue,” made famous by Johnny Cash.
POET’S TREE
by Shel Silverstein
Underneath the poet tree,
Come and rest awhile with me,
And watch the way the word-web weaves
Between the shady story leaves.
The branches of the poet tree
Reach from the mountains to the sea.
So come and dream, or come and climb –
Just don’t get hit by falling rhymes.
EIGHT BALLOONS
by Shel Silverstein
Eight balloons no one was buyin’
All broke loose one afternoon.
Eight balloons with strings a-flyin’,
Free to do what they wanted to.
One flew up to touch the sun – POP!
One thought highways might be fun – POP!
One took a nap in a cactus pile – POP!
One stayed to play with a careless child – POP!
One tried to taste some bacon fryin’ – POP!
One fell in love with a porcupine – POP!
One looked close in a crocodile’s mouth – POP!
One sat around ’til his air ran out – WHOOSH!
Eight balloons no one was buyin’ –
They broke loose and away they flew,
Free to float and free to fly
And free to pop where they wanted to.
Photo: “Eight balloons” by Bull Rider, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WRITER WAITING
by Shel Silverstein
Oh this shiny new computer–
There just isn’t nothin’ cuter.
It knows everything the world ever knew.
And with this great computer
I don’t need no writin’ tutor,
‘Cause there ain’t a single thing that it can’t do.
It can sort and it can spell,
It can punctuate as well.
It can find and file and underline and type.
It can edit and select,
It can copy and correct,
So I’ll have a whole book written by tonight
(Just as soon as it can think of what to write).
###
“Writer Waiting” appears in Falling Up, poems and drawings by Shel Silverstein (HarperCollins, 1996), available at Amazon.com.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Chicago native Shel Silverstein (1930-1999) was a poet, songwriter, singer, cartoonist, screenwriter, and author. Other notable books include The Giving Tree (1964), Where the Sidewalk Ends (1974), and the song “A Boy Named Sue,” made famous by Johnny Cash.
Silver Birch Press 