Remembering Ralph Edwards by Alan Walowitz (ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER Series)

Remembering Ralph Edwards
by Alan Walowitz

My mother, a practical sort, never offered
the forced élan of long-term wanting,
or the thrill of spontaneous combustion.
In fact, she never made demands at all—
till now, when she announces to any who’ll listen
I want my personality back.

I don’t know where to go to get,
but I’ve learned how to distract—
to talk about the weather;
how my daughter’s doing in school;
how you have to sleep the night
if you want to keep whatever world you’ve got
from bursting into flame.
That’s nothing, she hisses, like a long, slow leak
then waves her arms, elbows locked,
as if they’re meant to break like waves,
as if that would show me how.

This is the stuff you never got
at your mother’s apron strings
as you learned to pair the socks,
counted pennies into rolls,
or yelled Rummy loud enough
to be heard in a roomful of Jews.
If I had the guts I’d exclaim,
Esther, this is your life!
Then my practical mother
might return for just a moment and add,
Whether you asked for it or not.
Or even better, maybe she’d say,
Not now, I’m busy.

From The Story of the Milkman and Other Poems (Truth Serum Press).

PHOTO: Title sequence for This Is Your Life (1954).

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: In my mother’s last year on this planet, I’d often help her sift through her memories—photos, people, movies, and shows we’d seen together. As her last year unfolded, she became less happy and somewhat angry. This Is Your Life, which aired from the late 1940s through the 1960s, was an early reality show. Each week, the host and producer of the show, Ralph Edwards, retold the life story of a famous or not-so-famous person—someone who had led an interesting life. Those who were featured on This Is Your Life  were usually not told in advance that their story was about to be revisited in front of a national audience.

AUTHOR’S PHOTO CAPTION: My mother, Esther Karp, 1936, probably age 16, in her Bushwick High School graduation gown, twirling and happy.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Alan Walowitz is a Contributing Editor at Verse-Virtual. His Exactly Like Love comes from Osedax Press. The Story of the Milkman and Other Poems, is available from Truth Serum Press. From Arroyo Seco Press, In the Muddle of the Night, written with poet Betsy Mars. The chapbook, The Poems of the Air, is from Red Wolf Editions. Free for downloading.

PHOTO: Esther Karp Walowitz and her son, Alan, on her 94th birthday, April 26, 2013. Still happy.