Image
‘TWAS THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS
by Buyer S. Remorse

’Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting — even the mouse.
 
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
 
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.
 
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
 
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
 
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
 
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
 
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said “U.S. POSTMAN.”
 
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
 
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
 
“Now Macy, now Best Buy, now Penny’s and Sears
Here’s Wal-Mart and Target and Nordstrom—all here!!
 
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!”
 
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
 
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
 
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
“ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT … YOU’LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!”

PHOTO: Bob McLean by Chad Coleman (Bellevue, Washington, Reporter)